Life Lessons
“Life lessons” are often associated with wisdom and aging. In her book, I've Been Thinking...Prayers, Meditations, and Reflections for a Meaningful Life, Maria Shriver writes, “This book is meant to ignite your own reflections and to help you reach your own clarity.” Each chapter begins with a quote and ends with a short prayer. In her encouragement to readers to live a life of courage, purpose, and kindness, Shriver also makes references to her own battle with Alzheimer's. One chapter contains her sixty life lessons in celebration of her sixtieth birthday. A sampling of her lessons include:
Get smart about money as early as possible and save something from every paycheck.
If you have a self-pity party, make it short and then move on.
Travel with your kids. It will broaden their horizons and strengthen your bonds.
It’s a privilege to take care of your parents when they’re aging and ailing.
Get good at letting go.
Be kind, because everyone else is struggling, too.
As Father’s Day and my birthday both passed recently, I asked myself what I would put down for my life lessons, whether learned or yet to be learnt. In no particular order, these came to mind…
- Unpredictable, uncontrollable, and unavoidable, yet negative interruptions of life help you mature.
- The worst storms in life have not been knock-out punches. “This, too, shall pass.”
- But in the midst of it, my Dad’s favourite verse and mine also is, “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
- Unconditional love is God’s embodied blessing. Show appreciation when you receive it.
- “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over” and it ain’t over after death — legacies and afterlife reunions continue.
- Wisdom is potential energy. Until it is released as kinetic energy of love, you are only provisionally wise.
- Problems are so big because they are so close in front of you — in time or space. Take a step back, pause, and try to look behind it. Then find a way through or around the hurdle.
- Thank God to have even just one long-lasting, close-knit, and strongly-tied friend.
- Don’t underestimate your schoolteachers’ impact on your life. Thank them and pray for them.
- Your family’s “blood is thicker than water” – make time to transfuse it into your children.
- Don’t get caught up with career and family, or community and church service, without a big picture.
- Going on missions is a great experience. Not to achieve anything, just for God to open your eyes.
- Teach. Only then will you realize how much you really don’t know. Then keep learning.
- To forgive is not easy. Even if unable at first, set sail toward that direction.
- Appreciate the myths, music, and movies of your ethnic/national culture – not everyone can.
- Be a bridge, not a wall.
- Meditation is medication soothing for the soul.
- “Salvation” is a big word – “but” is simpler: You screwed up BUT God’s grace prevailed.
- “I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like” (Mardy Grothe). Playing with words is good for the mind.
- Watch movies that ask good questions, not bad ones that give wrong answers.
- Don’t press ‘send’ when you are angry. You will regret it even if it feels so good then.
- Read broadly. It opens up perspectives and perceptions to give new insight.
- Life isn’t fair, neither is God…but you wouldn’t be here otherwise – “Thank God He isn’t fair” (Fee)
- Your parents' parenting style affects yours more than you think. Beware. Be thankful.
- It’s okay to be unprepared for some things. Surprise and serendipity are still stupendous.
- Being stupid is sometimes stupendous too. It’s like having a selective loss of memory.
- Smile more often than you think you already do, and definitely laugh out loud when you can.
- If your theology doesn’t change with time, you are not growing.
- Journal your journey. You will enjoy revisiting long forgotten verbal photos of yester-years.
- Start now, it’s never too late.
- Twenty years seems not much time at age 60 compared to age 20, but it's the same length of time.
- Saying “please” and “thank you” can take effort with family. Make the effort.
- One-hand clapping makes sound at a different spectrum. Just because you don’t sense something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
- Making predictions of the future is fun even if you are inaccurate.
- Remember the prefix re-: reflect, reset, recharge, re-tread, then return.
- Chinese words are beautiful reminders of deeper meanings, like “listen,” “busy,” “mindfulness.”
- Preaching to an empty hall is hard, but the janitor overheard and became an evangelist. Work for God when He calls you, not for the praise of other people.
- Don’t “reply all” if you can help it. The world doesn’t need to know your response to one.
- Basic cooking skills are a must – be a chef if that’s your interest, but learn to cook rice at least.
- Some "used" things are valuable — well-maintained cars, vacuum electronics, and books.
- Expand your taste in music. Don't be restricted to two decades of one sub-culture.
- Find a good spiritual director or mentor. They help in ways different from friends.
- Enjoy people and use things, don't use people and enjoy things.
- Contentment, Devotion, Enthusiasm (en Theos), Faithfulness, Gratitude, Humility…write your own acrostic psalm of key values and review it regularly.
- Chess, bridge, and mah-jong are great games to keep premature cognitive decline at bay.
- So are writing, reading, and learning logic and probabilities when you “get to,” not “got to” do it.
- Support missionaries and causes with whom you have personal connections – you are their partners.
- With COVID-19, no sports to watch on TV for 3 months! Going cold-turkey can work.
- Sitting is the new smoking. Stand or sit on a ball and move around every hour.
- If God has blessed you with children, remember they are His stewards, so pray accordingly.
- Three is company. Include God so He can drown out your negative self-talk.
- Don’t think you are immune to burn-outs and depression. You are often the last to know.
- Two-week pill boxes are essential if you have 12 pills to take in two batches every day.
- Besides cooking, other life skills include photography, travelling, and writing thank you cards.
- Listen well, acknowledge people’s kindness, and pay forward.
- “Be kind, be calm, and be safe” (Dr. Bonnie Henry). Perfect advice for emergency doctors at work.
- You don’t have to say anything, just offer your quiet presence to someone who is grieving.
- Learn to savour, to get into “flow,” and to create good peak-and-ends in experiences.
- While you are reading about those, know and watch out for all your subconscious biases.
- There will be more lessons because I’m not dead yet and I am learning to live in the present.
6 comments
...and regular exercise, balanced diet, restful sleep, a cheerful heart is good medicine...=)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder. Those were never my forte. :(
Delete#30 =)
DeleteAt the risk of breaking #38, each of these lessons can be a chapter/book in and of itself!
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that I am identified as 'unknown'. I am ic - the tire guy
DeleteThanks for the suggestion, #8.
Delete